Great Reads by Suki

  To love and to be loved are two totally extreme things. One is on one end and the other some other far end. Do you understand? Mnaget? Of course not! So let me explain.  Case scenario/ POV/ Situation. "Me and my boyfriend" Welcome to my life, my bedroom mostly, our bedroom! (Sorry) and my heart, soul, mind. If you asked me what love was precisely a year ago, since today (14/02), is our anniversary, I would have a really absurd answer. By absurd I mean the usual. The 'kawaida' love you hear about on wedding speeches or atleast in novels. Novels that are cliche'. Love for me was flowers. All kind of flowers I had an obsession with roses ever since I was little. (My mum's name is Rose.) How else then would you have shown love to that little girl than planting roses on her hands, doorsteps, bedroom floor! You feel me? Love was strawberries and all the cute stuff. The forehead kisses, the little hugs, hand holding, snuggling in bed, cute lil' names, making lo...

We all have that friend who for some reason is always linking you up with wierd jobs. I'm not complaining. No name, no case, but this friend of mine will even tell, you that bedsheets za statehouse zinaoshwa na wanataka watu waende waoshe, oh sijui barabara zinasweepiwa na ameambiwa aende na mtu mmoja. This time it was a little bit realistic. She landed on a job ya kupark documents in boxes, in an office in tao, for a person who was switching work places. The job began at around 9am and by 12 midday we were done. The best thing about her jobs is that you get paid immediately. So she gave me my money and I was about to head home until she asked me to take her get stuff kwa supa then we would go home together after. Tukaenda supa and I was surprised she was getting chocolates. Too much chocolate. I'm the last person who should suggest what too much chocolate is. So you bet it was.  We walk to the cashier and the money she has is barely enough to pay for all that. Mind you she ask...

Excerpts from my diary that I shouldn't share... "...you have the kind of eyes that put a pulse on all the wrong places. Just a look to my direction and I think of all the possibilities between us. Do you stare at everyone like you do with me? It doesn't quite sit right, the way your eyes follow me across a room. But I don't mind. You have my mind floating in fantasies even when she is sitting next to me. Last weekend, headed to that party, while I was sitting on the back seat, and you were holding her hand at the front seat while driving, but you couldn't resist staring at my thighs at the rear mirror. I smiled a little and you lost your grip from her hand. I saw that. I chose that outfit for you. Your girlfriend thought it was pretty too. Just saying... That same night, after the party, when you and her crashed at my house. I had to give y'all the bedroom. I wished it was you and me though. Laying on the couch and listening to the sounds she made and the gro...

The universe fascinates me, and I say this with so much honesty. Like look at everything around me, around you, around us! Look at people and I mean old, young, new born babies! Look at animals, cute little toy poodles (Bobo has one!), that just want to cuddle and be cute, to fierce wild lions that just want to pounce at you.  Look at yourself mostly. The arrangement or disarrangement, the symmetry or asymmetry, your eyes, your nose, your lips, teeth. Am I the only one who thinks that my facial features are in secret communication, like maybe my eyes whisper to my nose sorry when I have a cold? I mean look at the scars on your knees that you got as a child and they don't seem to get away. Those are beauty marks. Those are the switch buttons that awaken the child in you. They literally remind you how happy you were!  Look at your thought process. How your mind works. How you figure out stuff and how you mess up stuff and everything in between! Do you ever look in the mirror and...

  At the end of the day the sun kisses my face and then goes down on me;)🌤️💛/Endings are beautiful! You know how we all have this conversation about self growth and we really don't narrow down to what it  is. Well I have been on the self growth calendar for the past few months and this shit is not just it. It's not what y'all label it to be. It's not the pretty quotes on Pinterest, the soft art that we all tend to resolve to vision boards or even skin care. It's none of that. This is totally on a personal perspective and I stand to be fact checked.  Just today I was having a deep conversation with my best friend and as she kept typing on her phone I scrolled up to where it all began and I went on reading everything all the way down and guess what I typed when I got to the bottom of our chats?  "Do you think I'm emotionally immature?" She had not left the chat and she began to record a voice note and while listening to it I broke into one of those sel...

I should have told my friends this story but it was the last day of school and it was pretty embarrassing. Soooo the weekend towards the last week of our physical classes was my cousin's (Brian)  birthday and of course he had a party. It was in a club in town. I was skeptical about going out but anyways sikua na kitu ya kufanya so why not!  So the party went on well. Very well infact. Except that Brian's girlfriend wasn't there. Apparently she was mad at him and so she didn't show up. Who misses their boy's party though juu umejam. Anywayyyyyy. At 9 pm we left the club went to Brian's place, Buru for the rest of the sherehe. That was Saturday night.  Fast forward to Friday evening. A week later, we were walking to Kahawa, from school, KU along that stretch between school Gate and Engen, with my classmate, yes you guessed right, Karen! Halfway through the stretch, a girl looks at us so keenly and even after she is past us she turns her head. Mimi apo nikaanza kuc...

I sent this to my reading app muse whom I haven't met yet and she replied with, "I'm jealous of how you get to visit spaces and places with just your mind"  Anyway, go ahead, and listen to 'Till Forever Falls Apart' by Finneas and Ashe as you read this story❤️ I needed a job for my lengthy school break. I knew a couple of joints I would have worked, one a library or a cafe downtown or a cashier at a supermarket next to my block. The library one was eventually not an option, they were closing for renovation. I didn't want to work so close to home so I chose the cafe downtown. Not in the kitchen, no, I got the cashier spot. Atleast I would wake up early every morning and go sit down all day collecting bills. I wasn't looking for excitement out of this job, I was looking to be busy and of course a salary. I needed to get a yellow bike for my small sister's birthday too. My only friend at the cafe was this old woman, Jane, who used to package take outs...

I have a name for you already,Nova. It means new and intuitive beginnings. Like a new star, Supernova! I have a face for you too. Of how you will have my nose and my brown eyes. Brown like honey, not hazel. I know you will wear my smile forever. And your ears will be  a little large. Your skin will glow like mine with the sun and the moon. And your teeth a little crooked. Your lips full and pouty! You will be a writer, or a singer, or your hands might as well have the grace to hold paint brushes like Picasso. Your voice will be soft. Maybe softer than mine. You will hit the highest notes. Those that I couldn't. Your heart will be emerald. A kind garden of roses, with a few thorns here and there but with bold roses on the top, just like my mum. Your soul will be fierce, you will probably be a yin, since I'm a yang. You will be mystery and magic, you will have power within you. You will possibly fall in love with sweaters, coffee and Octobers.  I cannot wait to chase sunsets wit...

I was just in the house, minding my own business, scrolling through my phone and this email notification pops on my screen...long story short. Danelle replied to my blog post.  Dea r Suki,   I never stop to think about how accidental we were. How two perfect humans almost fitted in each other so well. But still there was a part of us that was not for each other. Mostly you were half in it or in some peripheral oblivion. I was more of the nest you'd fly to when you were tired while I would have preferred you'd stick in the nest for forever. We had overhead conversations while all I wanted was us to be as deep as we could be, you could not offer the bare minimum, what was there to lose? You were a closed book, and you wrote your life in your mind and you expected me to read that too. I was the books you placed in the shelf to collect dust and never to be read, the dusty clock on the wall that for a moment wanted to tick but was always stuck at 4:04pm. You described me as the lov...

 Read alongside any of these songs;🤌❤️🦋 Jealous, Labrinth Heartbreak Anniversary, Giveon A Little But Yours, JP Saxe Before You Go, Lewis Capaldi Yesterday I was at the store fetching for home plants and I saw this old couple explaining why they needed home plants so badly and it reminded me of you. God! We should have grown old together! In my wildest thoughts you shouldn't have crossed my mind like that especially after all this time. Something about old and happy couples trigger these feelings in me. Getting home I went over to my calendar and there it was, 1 year 3 days since we were no more. Heartbreak anniversary, more like heart break misery. Did you remember this day too, one year three days ago? The day we fought apart? Did it mean anything to you? I bet it didn't. Do you ever wish that we could relive us one more time? Last night, I felt the ounce of everything you ever said to me. All the heavy and light words, all the silly and serious conversations we had and one...