Great Reads by Suki

  At the end of the day the sun kisses my face and then goes down on me;)🌤️💛/Endings are beautiful! You know how we all have this conversation about self growth and we really don't narrow down to what it  is. Well I have been on the self growth calendar for the past few months and this shit is not just it. It's not what y'all label it to be. It's not the pretty quotes on Pinterest, the soft art that we all tend to resolve to vision boards or even skin care. It's none of that. This is totally on a personal perspective and I stand to be fact checked.  Just today I was having a deep conversation with my best friend and as she kept typing on her phone I scrolled up to where it all began and I went on reading everything all the way down and guess what I typed when I got to the bottom of our chats?  "Do you think I'm emotionally immature?" She had not left the chat and she began to record a voice note and while listening to it I broke into one of those sel...

I should have told my friends this story but it was the last day of school and it was pretty embarrassing. Soooo the weekend towards the last week of our physical classes was my cousin's (Brian)  birthday and of course he had a party. It was in a club in town. I was skeptical about going out but anyways sikua na kitu ya kufanya so why not!  So the party went on well. Very well infact. Except that Brian's girlfriend wasn't there. Apparently she was mad at him and so she didn't show up. Who misses their boy's party though juu umejam. Anywayyyyyy. At 9 pm we left the club went to Brian's place, Buru for the rest of the sherehe. That was Saturday night.  Fast forward to Friday evening. A week later, we were walking to Kahawa, from school, KU along that stretch between school Gate and Engen, with my classmate, yes you guessed right, Karen! Halfway through the stretch, a girl looks at us so keenly and even after she is past us she turns her head. Mimi apo nikaanza kuc...

I sent this to my reading app muse whom I haven't met yet and she replied with, "I'm jealous of how you get to visit spaces and places with just your mind"  Anyway, go ahead, and listen to 'Till Forever Falls Apart' by Finneas and Ashe as you read this story❤️ I needed a job for my lengthy school break. I knew a couple of joints I would have worked, one a library or a cafe downtown or a cashier at a supermarket next to my block. The library one was eventually not an option, they were closing for renovation. I didn't want to work so close to home so I chose the cafe downtown. Not in the kitchen, no, I got the cashier spot. Atleast I would wake up early every morning and go sit down all day collecting bills. I wasn't looking for excitement out of this job, I was looking to be busy and of course a salary. I needed to get a yellow bike for my small sister's birthday too. My only friend at the cafe was this old woman, Jane, who used to package take outs...

I have a name for you already,Nova. It means new and intuitive beginnings. Like a new star, Supernova! I have a face for you too. Of how you will have my nose and my brown eyes. Brown like honey, not hazel. I know you will wear my smile forever. And your ears will be  a little large. Your skin will glow like mine with the sun and the moon. And your teeth a little crooked. Your lips full and pouty! You will be a writer, or a singer, or your hands might as well have the grace to hold paint brushes like Picasso. Your voice will be soft. Maybe softer than mine. You will hit the highest notes. Those that I couldn't. Your heart will be emerald. A kind garden of roses, with a few thorns here and there but with bold roses on the top, just like my mum. Your soul will be fierce, you will probably be a yin, since I'm a yang. You will be mystery and magic, you will have power within you. You will possibly fall in love with sweaters, coffee and Octobers.  I cannot wait to chase sunsets wit...

I was just in the house, minding my own business, scrolling through my phone and this email notification pops on my screen...long story short. Danelle replied to my blog post.  Dea r Suki,   I never stop to think about how accidental we were. How two perfect humans almost fitted in each other so well. But still there was a part of us that was not for each other. Mostly you were half in it or in some peripheral oblivion. I was more of the nest you'd fly to when you were tired while I would have preferred you'd stick in the nest for forever. We had overhead conversations while all I wanted was us to be as deep as we could be, you could not offer the bare minimum, what was there to lose? You were a closed book, and you wrote your life in your mind and you expected me to read that too. I was the books you placed in the shelf to collect dust and never to be read, the dusty clock on the wall that for a moment wanted to tick but was always stuck at 4:04pm. You described me as the lov...

 Read alongside any of these songs;🤌❤️🦋 Jealous, Labrinth Heartbreak Anniversary, Giveon A Little But Yours, JP Saxe Before You Go, Lewis Capaldi Yesterday I was at the store fetching for home plants and I saw this old couple explaining why they needed home plants so badly and it reminded me of you. God! We should have grown old together! In my wildest thoughts you shouldn't have crossed my mind like that especially after all this time. Something about old and happy couples trigger these feelings in me. Getting home I went over to my calendar and there it was, 1 year 3 days since we were no more. Heartbreak anniversary, more like heart break misery. Did you remember this day too, one year three days ago? The day we fought apart? Did it mean anything to you? I bet it didn't. Do you ever wish that we could relive us one more time? Last night, I felt the ounce of everything you ever said to me. All the heavy and light words, all the silly and serious conversations we had and one...

  Black as tan and yes I stan! Big hair that sits on your head like a crown You still need to be told that you are a queen? Big lips, plump in all the right places,  If only you knew! Is that why you speak volumes? Big round white eyes, Just look them in the face if you want to attack! Acne that resembles the scars on the moon Hips and a butt that would tear through your skin You are beauty, you are grace, you are cynical You are mysterious, you are whimsical And if they come at you Punch them in the face! Clothes of color that bring out this divine presence High heels to stand above the rest Elaborately infused style, extravagantly bathed in, Shea oils, black soaps, castor oils, cocoa magics! Blackinificent indeed! Dipped in chocolate, bronzed in elegance Black girl, you are your ancestors wildest dreams. A mind of gold Words like silver, how they cut, How you fall in love, How you reach for your dreams, How nobody could ever write you out, How you are magic, How you pick you...

  It scares me, being alone. Rather being lonely. I like to be surrounded by some sort of energy from other people and it's the needing that hurts. I like to promise myself that I am okay being alone, then it hits me I am not. Worse still, I have few people that I want to be around. I give them the power to use me, to treat me good, as long as they are available. I like to show up for them too. You know! Solitude! This is by far the most intimidating word for me. How exactly am I supposed to achieve this? How am I supposed to be comfortable with being an almost uninhabited space! Usually, it sounds to me like living somewhere in the backwoods, where it's mostly raining and cold and everything is sticky and ugly. That is solitude for me.  Lex likes to call negative solitude, anxiety. It makes sense, only because she makes sense alot of times. The whole endless loop, of seeking company, unnecessary company, to feel better. More or less, it's holding hands with anxiety and pat...

 If I was to mold a boy, from soil, water then mud and boom! A boy, I would build you baby. I would build you with your errant curls and little acnes on your cheeks. I would build you with that eyebrow scar that you like to hide so well. I would not at all reduce the number of times you blink when you see me. I would build you with your uneven dimples and not try to align them. Especially those that appear at the corners of your mouth when you smile. I would build you with your veiny long arms that you think are heavy. I would build you with the huge birthmark on your bum that you so wish was not there. I would not fix a thing. I would not change a thing. For those flaws you cannot stand, trust me they make you look closer, like you belong somewhere, like they are a signature stamp for some sort of authenticity! I like the way your height intimidates you. The way you feel wierd standing in a room full of people, and realize you are the tallest. I like your full shoulders, that take...

>>no intro😂 It was the last week of being an intern at this company that I won't say the name and I was sad. Really sad. It was such an experience. Having to work around grown ass people was the IT for me! But that was not the peak of my experience! Imani was. Imani was the only other intern in the company just that she was in the HR department. For some reason we always found ourselves in the kitchen at 10 a.m. complaining about having to serve coffee to the rest of the people. I'm so bad at making new friends and even worse at keeping my old ones. But with Imani it was an inevitable situation. We had to be friends! At the end of the three months, I almost felt like I had known her all my life, until I didn't. She was goofy, cheeky, wild, loud, which is a total opposite of me. I like to call myself calm and collected because why not. Sooooo, coincidentally, on that last week of our internship, the company had planned a fully paid trip to Mombasa. This was only becau...