NAIROBIIIIIIII!!!!!!

 Before I can explain why  I wasn't updating y'all, please ask Alexa to play Nairobi by Bensoul, because shit is about to go down. 

Do you listen to the lyrics and actually realise that the whole story is someone's stunt or escapade or caper or situation, whatever the word. Point is someone is actually living and loving this song, from "Yule anakupea pia ananipea," to "Mbogi yangu iliniambia!" So here we go. I happen to be in a boys circle and I love it there. How I became part of the squad is out of my knowledge. Wait, is it cause my butt is tiny that they thought am a fellow man? I don't know! But hey, I wouldn't fit better in any other circle. Max, Brian, Elvo, Masha, Vicky and I were having a rather chill Friday afternoon. Board games have really become our thing so if you are looking to be unproductively productive, get board games, and card games too. Serves the same purpose.

On a normal weekday, each of us would either do assignments, complain about life and school, think of an unrealistic business idea and we'd call it a day. It was Friday however and our idea of a soft life is actually getting euphorically high! Sad? I know! Lucky for us, Max had broken up with his girlfriend and he owed us a hard party. Max got drinks for the evening and a very sickening dose of XTC, you know what that is? Molly. I swore to never take those until I ran out of swears. I always recover anyway. 

The more the merrier right? Max again had invited his friend over who was to come with his girlfriend. Usually we would dismiss the whole thought of having people over. This guy was going through a tough heartbreak and we let the rule pass. Few hours later, we hit a few shots and the long awaited people arrived. The guy was so familiar. Only because he went to KU. Of course he had to be familiar. Everyone has seen everyone somewhere along KU roads, halls, washrooms, name it. With him was his girlfriend. Damn! Dude! The girl was hot, I must say. The kind with chubby, dimpling cheeks and wore glasses, more like my friend Lilian. She was thick and most of all, so chill. I was amazed by her calm energy and somehow felt sorry for how loud my crazy ass was. More reason am single.( I'm single guys). Her name was Shiko and I swear she looked like a Shiko.

The night wasn't hitting those high vibe notes. Everyone seemed to be in their minds and spaces, despite the loud music. Or was it the bulb, or the light? We had a white bulb and had agreed to never use color bulbs since Masha got really crazy hallucinations when high that we assumed were light related. Trust me, he handled the situation better in white light. Call me a genius, because that was all my thinking.

The wierd drunk talking was here with us, Pau the guest guy was all over Shiko and so was Shiko. Yooh! They looked so cute and cool together. Max shot the question.

"Ulijishindia ka10/10 my guy!" 

I laughed at the ka10/10 thing and Pau went to boastfully tell us the story of how they met and that they decided to take things to the next level. How cute. Pau seemed like the guy every girl would sprawl over, except me of course, but only because he was taken. At this point, I was hella high and I needed to sleep. Brocode 104: Always let the guy with a girl take that private room. That is basically my room. Perks of being in a boys squad you may ask!? I must say NONE! Except that you got to be a boy by perspective. More like "when you go to Rome you ought to do what the Romans do." That line made me feel like Langdon from Dan Brown's books, for a moment. You should read his books by the way. I eventually laid in Max's bed to sleep.

4 a.m. has something on me! No shit! I have this diurnal rhythm of always getting up at 4 a.m. without an alarm for that reason. That is followed by an actual struggle to get back to sleep. Maybe it's the universe's way of telling me to wake up and grind! This time, I wished  I was asleep, or even dead or deaf. I had never woken up to sex sounds. Not the song by Lil Tjay, but actual sex sounds. For some minutes I felt so cowered and bothered, then I opted to blast my ears with earphones. Pau! Show us your ways master! That girl was spitting, moans though... 

Morning took forever I swear. I had never waited for a morning so eagerly. I couldn't make the slightest noise. Y'all know am good and a rather empathetic person.

I woke up really hungry and I got breakfast for everyone, including Pau and Shiko who said that they wouldn't have breakfast with us, since they had to get Shiko to her weekend job on time. Lucky for me I was going to have breakfast for three!

Fast forward to the following weekend. My week was great with numerous online cats and forums furthermore, my painting jobs only get good when I'm busy with school work. But your girl gotta do what she gotta do. The weekend this time, was not your ordinary weekend. It was Valentine's weekend. Neither of us was dating but atleast I got left over chocolate from my best friend's Lisa pre Valentine's date( huyo msichana si amependwa vizuri!!). It meant alot. 

You know what single people do on Valentine's? No they do not sleep and cry all day. Neither do they sit alongside the road and judge people's partnering decsions, not anymore, we will judge you online. Single people get drunk and stay happy, they do the most on Valentine's. You just said it so, this time I was getting the drinks and so I did. Remember about the no extras rule? Guess what I had done, I had invited a couple over  for Valentine's. No! I had invited my long lost buddy, Roy and he decided to tag his girlfriend. Must be sad being this girl.

I told the rest of the guys that my friend would come over and they were so okay with it. Roy could not navigate the whole Kahawa Sukari directions thing and so I had to go pick him up. Elvo owns the squad's car and so I used his car all the way to Engen. They were both there. I was so excited to see Roy that I almost ignored his girlfriend's presence, but everyone loves an old friends reunion, so it was more of entitled ignorance. Roy and I had been friends since I was six and at twenty one years we still are the shit.

Guess what guys! Roy and his girlfriend had matching denim jackets and black jeans and for the shoes y'all can guess what a couple would have on. Yes, you got it right. White air force 1 sneakers. One look at the girl's face for the first time since I stepped out of the car, sent very wierd chills all over my stomach. What the hell is this girl! Guyss! It was Shiko! (I'm crying writing this!). Or her twin maybe. At some point I pinched my hand secretly to make sure I was awake. I had to assume it was her twin. For sanity purposes. I didn't ask her name. She didn't tell me her name either and Roy wasn't bothering. However she seemed so chill and relaxed that I was totally convinced it wasn't Shiko. But the striking resemblance! Waaah!

I remember driving so fast that I forgot to pick up fries that were supposed to be taken for supper. Immediately I dropped them both at the house, I decided to ask Max to come get fries with me. Roy had been at the house before and he knew how to make himself comfortable so I was sure he was okay. Max was hesitant at getting fries with me  but I literally begged him. He had barely said HI to my friends, Roy and I assume, Shiko. He had been next door when I called him. I didn't want him to see Shiko before I had alerted him. I took a deep breath when we got in the car and I could tell I was restless and sweaty and Max could definitely notice that something was up.

Before he could say a word. Stuff just hopped out of my mouth. 

"Shiko is with Roy! I don't really know if it's her but I'm almost sure it's her. I can tell."

"Sasa Shiko ni nani?"

I was startled by the fact that Max doesn't remember his friend's girlfriend's name but thinking of it now it's pretty normal and expected.

"Ule dem wa beshte yako Pau. From last weekend. Imagine she is the same girl with Roy." 

I explained and hoped that I was sounding meaningful.

"Alikua anaitwa Shiko? Uko sure ni yeye ama uko mavitu?" 

Max went on to make a loud laugh that was really disturbing. I wished I had called Vicky instead.

"Sasa Roy na Pau ata wanajuana aje?" 

I tried to figure out a possible connection between the two and nothing came to mind. 

Max asked me to hop on the backseat so that he could drive instead. As petty as these situation may seem to y'all. It was really disturbing to me. It was my friend Roy we were dealing with. I noticed a sudden change on Max's face and for the first time I was glad he was giving a thought to the whole thing. It calmed me down a little. We got the fries and  were back home in like 10 minutes. The music was weirdly low. Shiko was on her phone and Roy was already playing FIFA with the rest of the guys. I saw Max throw a glance at Shiko on his way to the kitchen and I followed him to confirm if it was just me who saw a Shiko. Before I could even get to the kitchen, Vicky was running across the corridor behind me.

"Wasee! Huyu ni Shiko wa Pau?" 

He shouted and I dropped a fork to make some noise so he doesn't get heard. 

" Si pia mimi nashangaa fom!" 

Max exclaimed.

At this point it was very funny and I could afford to laugh. 

"Waah! NAIROBIIIIIIII!" 

This is the closest thing my mind could come up with.

"Speaking of Nairobi..."

Max said leaving the kitchen with his fries in a plate! Was he about to burst the girl. He dead ass put the Nairobi song on play and shot the music on blast. We all sang along. Guys! This was supposed to hint out girl but she was totally unmoved, unshaken, whatever the word. She laughed at the lyrics with us, sang along with us, danced with us until the end. What in the heckoroniiiii!!! Max again, he played the song two more times and our girl was vibing like no one's business. I had to confirm this was not Shiko. Nothing was making sense or sitting right with me at this point.

"Hi," 

I said in between loud music.

"Hey Sukari!"

My heart skipped a tone! It's her!

"It's Shiko right?"

"Yea, I was around last weekend!" 

She said to my face! The audacity of this girl was powerful.

"Oh! Yea with Pau!"

"Exactly,"

Shiko added standing up to dance with Roy. I remember Nandy's and Joeboy's song, "Number one", was playing.

The night was getting too much for me. I was ready to think my thoughts out and mind my own business for the first time that day. Everyone except Roy and of course Shiko knew what was up by the time we were all drunk. We played a couple of drinking games that were top of the shelf freaky. That was the point. We needed to understand where Shiko was coming from and her intentions. She happened to be very protective with Roy and passed all dares and truths that involved other dudes other than Roy of course. Too much for a girl swapping niggas in six days I must say. "Insert British accent."

Time to sleep! Like always, the private bedroom a.k.a my bedroom went to the couple of the night. Who is this girl? I almost cried watching Roy cuddling up with her! Na kama ako na ukimwi! The thought I could never ignore. Of course I couldn't catch sleep, my friend Roy was in some wierd entanglement unknown to him. Excuse my manners but this time I had to mind their business. And yes, minutes later after lights were out they did their thing. Did Roy even strap his thing up?! I listened to them until the end and with every sound they made I ran a WTF thought! I was sure that neither of us was asleep except Vicky who blacks out really insanely. And so we might have all synced rhythmically to their "sex sounds".

Shiko was the grand vizier of Nairobi girls since wueeeehhhh! Mimi nilishtuuka. How are you so comfortable and flexible with shit like that!? Excuse me if it's normal to y'all and if this story is cliche to you but I needed to put my weight out there to you guys. 

One week later me and the boys are still internalizing the whole saga. Should we even tell Pau and Roy that sahani yao ni sinia? Vicky however thinks that maybe Shiko does "girlfriend for hire services" and that's why she showed up twice in the same house with different guys. I dismissed the idea. Anyway I am on a break on the Nairobi song since Shiko's face floods my head when I hear the song play anywhere. Protect my sanity. Don't play the song around me until further notice.

I won't even tell y'all why I haven't been updating! I'm sad! 

Disclaimer: Everything you have read is fictional. If the story and characters match anything that actually happened around you I highly apologise for being mystical like that. No I don't! I wish I could actually post a video telling the story but am a lil shy!! Till next time. Be careful!